2007 300 new battery, everything is broke :(
 

Friend just yesterday had AAA rescue him on the road and put a new battery in. They didn't use a memory saver when they changed the battery and now all kinds of lights are on, on the dash, ABS, battery etc. And the battery is not charging.

He can't afford to take it to the dealer. I told him to call AAA right away. They should know damn well the proper procedure for changing the battery.

How do I get this re-calibrated if AAA will not help him?

You need to check the alternator.