2000 T&C wierd electric problem...help please!
 

My 2000 Town and country ran fine up until I parked it for a couple weeks. When I went to start it today, it wont turn over. Here are the notable weird things about this:

-when key is turned to start or accessory position the only thing active on the instrument cluster are the gear selector positions and odometer. Fuel level etc. do not move.

-Interior lights come on as usual when doors open.
-Blower fans front and rear work
-power door locks work
-remote key fob door unlocking/locking works.
-turn signals work
-headlights work

this is all very good and normal, but when key is turned to start.....nothing, and the radio doesnt get power in any key position. Normally it could be turned to accessory position for radio.

I have read that it could be a tired battery causing gremlins, but the blowers blow like crazy and the interior lights are bright.
I brought the battery in to be load tested anyway wishing that was the problem but no joy...the battery is in perfect operation.

There is no clicking or sounds of any sort when trying to engage the starter and I've tried with the gear in Neutral and park....same result.

I've read that it could be a circuit board behind the instrument cluster that becomes desoldered and that a good whack to the dash can fix it temporarily....didn't work.

All this seems so much like a security system shutdown but I have disconnected the battery overnight, reconnected and tried unlocking with both door cylinder and remote....no dice.

Tried to read the codes through the OBD port but it's not getting power either I guess because the scanner can't establish a link.

Please help if you have any advice....Really appreciate it.

chk battery first

As mentioned in my post I had the battery load tested and posts cleaned yesterday. Battery is in 100% condition. Tried the remating of my fob remote that has been mentioned in other posts by turning key to start position (but not starter engagement position) and then unlocking/locking via the remote several times.still no cranking. Can't figure out what the radio has to do with this. Starting to hate this product very quickly.

Find the starter relay in the PDC (fuse box). Feel it as you turn the key to start. Is it clicking? Yes? You probably have a bad starter or power circuit to the starter. No click? The PCM isn't supplying the ground to the starter relay, the ground wire is open or the relay is bad. Swap with another relay on the panel. Still no start? Check transmission range sensor park input and security system.

Clues indicate the data bus has died. First place to look is that cluster circuit board regardless of the dash bash bust. You can test the cluster itself by holding both cluster buttons in then turn the key to on. All instruments and lights should cycle through a 15 second test. Does not test the solder joints in question.

Just to close this out....took it to the dealer because I hate diagnosing anything but minor electrical issues. Found out that several wires in the driver side harness were corroded and some broken. Cost me 400 to have it fixed but was done the same day. After checking out the spot it is pretty much wide open to slow ripping rain between the hood and fender. This type of non mechanical thing I don't mind paying someone else to frustrate with.
However, the speed at which they found the problem either speaks to the mechanics ability or the inferiority and commonality of the problem with this product.
overall...just like any other pre "forced quality control upgrade" that the foreign makers put on the NA crap makers.

You have a 12 year old car that had a wiring problem that only cost you 400 bucks to get fixed. If you knew so much to begin with about anything car related, you would have fixed it yourself and wouldn't be posting on a forum. To make a statement like that is ignorant to say the least.