A dumb blonde and gross old people...
 

Stay...

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.

She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me?" "Stay! Stay!"

The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange look and said,

"Why don't you just put it in park?"


The Senior Citizens Bus Trip

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the peanuts themselves. "We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."