Any major auto store should test not just Auto zone

 

Thanks a million, Basic. I'm heading to autozone tomorrow. If this battery is ****ed, O'reilly's better refund it... :/

 

Basic - Really good and slightly bad news.

The bad news first, I might be semi-retarded.

The good news, I tightened the negative terminal connection while my buddy was getting out the jumper cables and then turned the key for one last vain attempt at fixing this thing. It fired right up and ran me to Autozone. Battery tested awesome and the alternator is in good shape.

Thanks so much for your time, buddy! If you're ever in Denton, Texas I'll buy you a beer.

 

I forgot to add - the negative terminal was slightly loose - hence why I thought to tighten it. I never thought a very slightly loose ground connection would keep my car from starting. The more you know, I guess.

 

Very cool! Ground is everything, without it nothing works correctly.
& its the design of the car not you! Im sooo glad you didnt have to swap the alternator. Its like giving birth through a *****