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Alright you oil monkeys, wtf is going on here? 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT (same as Chrysler Town & Country) 3.8l v6 Pentastar engine, 130k miles, no history of mechanical issues, half-decent maintenance AFAIK (multiple owners), bought it from a coworker who doesn't know cars much but wouldn't sell me a lemon knowingly. Only diagnostic tool reading was for the EGR.

Had a slight ticking after warming up when I bought it, did a hard full acceleration once, hit redline and wouldn't shift out of first, backed off and it shifted, lost some power, much louder ticking (you don't hear the same ticking anymore, it's now the knock/clang), and would keep lurching a little when coming to a stop. Drove about 7 miles on that. Sound is coming from the left side of the motor, loudest from the pan with a stethoscope but that's also where sound would reverberate most. Compression on each cylinder was anywhere from 70-110, except the back left which was around 50.

This is the first car I've worked on so idfk but I'm thinking timing chain or camshaft, possibly oil pressure problem/overheating (and oil pressure sensor not reading right cause there's no error for it) caused sticky lifters, bent pushrod, loose/bent rocker arm, bent valve stem, stuck valve, oooooorr rings ****ed up. For the love of Chrysler, HELP ME.

Secondary: If I were to get a new engine, would I be able to remove the current one and place the new one in via jacks, stands, and ratchet straps, or is there no option to do it myself?

Thirdary: Where would I get the most money for the van as is? Couple minor electrical problems but aside from that everything is in pretty dang good shape for an 05.

 

Neighbor also thought it could be a thrown bearing.

 

Hi there,

Sorry to hear your pain noises like that are tricky, I've recently gone through similar, but unfortunately the sound doesn't match exactly what I had.
I thought it might be handy to look over what I did, found, etc, as might help you eliminate or get closer to the issue. Andy Brown's blog: Chrysler Grand Voyager flexplate replacement
I dropped the oil pan and then removed the balance shaft assembly, so exposing the big end bearings and underneath which might be illuminating for you. I don't think it sounds the same to match the flexplate (Assuming auto here) but worth comparing to see if you can get any hints from what I went through with diagnostics.

My personal thoughts would be to drop the pan and get a look underneath, the noise does sound correlated to engine RPM speed which suggests something on the shaft.