I have a pretty optionless 2002 GV, ok I have good speakers and an AC but no fancy electric sliding doors or heated chairs or board computer telling me how my MPG is.
My keys have only 2 buttons: Close and Open.
But I would like to have the option that my lights blink or my horn beeps when I remotely close or open my car.
I tried various "key programming options" but cant find the proper way to achieve my goal...
Is it possible my car isnt capable of named functions? Or is there some nifty trick in programming?

 

No idea on your year, but usually yes by using a ' wrong ' country code. The beep used to be standard around the world but was outlawed by Euro legislation in the distant past. My understanding is that if you put in the wrong country code you get that country's codes options. In other words a good scanner will see the beep option and a button to turn it on will be there but never works because of the country code. You might also introduce unwanted anomalies such as DRL's kM's rather that MPG etc. You could not do it on the keyfob any way the FOB only programs with the 6th non existent panic button.

Sorry mate I've no idea which counties still allow the beep.

 

It should but try this. Take a look behind the left hand headlight and see if there's an alarm module, if so check if its connected. These can fail usually resulting in the alarm going all the time and so people disconnect or remove them. This disables the beep, beep and light flashing.

 

I'll check but I'm afraid QinteQ could be right about legislation and stuff

 

Yeah that is possible, but a quick Google search would tell you!